In This Post
and welcome to the Narrative Niche Blog and welcome to February 2024! What do we think about, come this time of year? What do you think about? Valentine's Day? Groundhog Day? Fat Tuesday? President's Day? Oh come on already Jas, you know what you think about—it's your brother's birthday, the 27th. Okay, okay, besides that, and besides all of those holidays, it's the Super Bowl y'all! The Super Bowl in... February? Wait, didn't the Super Bowl used to be in January? I'm certain it did. Is this some kind of Mandela Effect going on here, or what?
Ah yes, the ol' Super Bowl. Highly trained millionaires in perfect human form and shape, battling equally minded and ripped gladiators on the gridiron in a winner-take-all, hyper-promoted, Nielsen-crushing war 'til the bloody, streamer-filled, Disneyland quoting end.
Nothing to Do with the Super Bowl
Sorry, was that a run-on Ms. Julie? Which, by the way, when did we start calling teachers by their first name? My kindergarten teacher was Ms. Casparek(sp?), and by golly that's what we called her, and I'm pretty sure the teacher's aide was a white-haired woman named Shepherd, though I could be mistaken. Sorry, my mind wanders...
And would you look at that? I mean, just look at it! From the depths of the Narrative Niche archives, I found this gem. Of course, I'm the kid with his tongue sticking out, but the point is, I was correct... about the teachers. Sadly, I can only name about half of my classmates in this picture, and as for still being connected, I'm friends with only three on Facebook, that I'm aware of—Russ Paiz, Kolby Wright, and Justin Kochevar. Here's looking at us guys! I'm just shocked I could remember anything from that long ago! Okay, the commercial break is over, back to the game.
The Commercial Bowl
Yes, unfortunately, like every other good thing in this country, the ol' Super Bowl has become commercialized, along with one of those other holidays I mentioned—psst... hey... just because he went to Jared, doesn't mean he loves you more, it just means he paid more. Just sayin'...The Super Bowl may well be a money-making machine, but to me, it's always been about the football, and when YOUR team is actually playing in it, it's just that much more special. Ah-hem... Denver... Are you reading this Coach Payton?
I have very fond memories of the Super Bowl, because when I was growing up, we didn't have a television. But every January, and I'm sure I was the instigator in this, my parents rented a TV for the Super Bowl. And not just a TV, but a VCR too! And not just for the day, but for, like a week! We finally got a TV, and cable, and the whole nine yards, when I was older, and we, we being my folks and siblings, still celebrate the Super Bowl together, even if it's not our beloved Broncos, who, by the way, won the Golden Super Bowl 50! Just sayin'...
Super Bowl LVIII (58)
Rematch of Super Bowl LIV (54)
Why not? The Super Bowl is one of the most celebrated events in the US today, so why wouldn’t the Narrative Niche Blog get in on the action? Okay, so who’s your team for Super Bowl LVIII, (psst... that’s 58, for those of us not living in Rome)? In case you didn’t know, this year’s NFL title game is a rematch of Super Bowl LIV (54), in which the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the San Francisco 49ers 31-20 at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida. Let’s talk about the similarities here.
The Team Colors
First, the colors for both teams are described as red and gold, though the 49ers are actually scarlet and gold, and the Chiefs gold, is more like yellow compared to the 49er gold. Oh, don't get me started. Well shit, I already started, so now I have to finish! So the 49er gold is actually gold, because it represents what a true 49er was—a gold prospector hoping to strike it rich in California, back in 1849. While we're talking colors, just like the SB in 2020, the AFC is the home team so the Chiefs will be wearing their red jerseys, and the 49ers will wear white.
Both teams are from the West Division in their respected conferences, both teams have the same coaches as SB LIV, Andy Reid for KC and Kyle Shanahan for SF,
and the big game will be decided by, er… I mean officiated by, the same referee, Bill Vinovich. Just kidding Bill. Although, I do recall a certain NFC Championship game in New Orleans that... well, never mind. We'll let bygones be bygones... this time.
So what’s different in this year’s Super Bowl, aside from being played at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada? Well, for starters, the 49ers will be led by a different field general, that's the quarterback, for those of you watching only for the commercials and the half-time show, which will be a performance by Usher this year.
Second-year starter, Brock Purdy, is the next in a long line of pedigree quarterbacks from San Francisco, following greats like Joe Montana and Steve Young, and one quarterback who will not be mentioned here, and the 49ers didn't win that Super Bowl anyway. You may remember SB XLVII (47); it was the Super Bowl that the lights went out at the Superdome in New Orleans.
Patrick Mahomes will be at the helm for the Chiefs, just like SB LIV, as he is coming off another great season, ranking 6th in total yards, just behind his counterpart, Brock Purdy. Purdy led all QB's in a category Mahomes usually wins, with 14 completions 40 yards or more—14 is the number of interceptions Mahomes threw this year, versus 27 touchdowns. Purdy's touchdown/interception ratio was an impressive 31/10.
You Don't Have to go to Vegas to Place Your Bet
Another difference this year, and something you might want to pay attention to if you plan to bet on the big game—the line. In the last SB matchup between these two teams, Kansas City was favored by 1.5 points, meaning, if you bet with the spread (1.5 points), KC would have to win by 2 or more points for you to win if you picked KC to win. This year's odds are, at the time of this writing, 49ers by 2, but today is Tuesday, and anything can happen between now and kickoff at 4:30 MTD, this Sunday, February 11, 2024. So, if you bet with the spread on the Chiefs, and say the 49ers win 21-20, you would still win, even though the Chiefs lost the game. Kind of like our political system these days.
Commercials (spoiler alert!)
No Super Bowl post would be complete without talking about the commercials, right? Well, we know about some of the commercials that will air during the game this year, and if you would rather be surprised, skip to the next section here.
Returning this year are two commercial legends—the Budweiser Clydesdales and the babies from E*TRADE will try to put a tear in your eye and a grin on your face, respectively. Also back in the lineup this year, Scrubs co-stars, Zach Braff and Donald Faison pimping T-Mobile, and after a Super Bowl hiatus, Oreo returns for the first time since 2013. Some of this year’s commercials are already airing, like the Bet MGM ad featuring Vince Vaughan, Tom Brady, and Wayne Gretzky, though I’m sure the Super Bowl clip will be a bit different.
Look for more of your favorite celebrities like Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer in an Uber Eats commercial, and a real football ad by Michelob, featuring World Cup champion Lionel Messi. Some others gracing us with their presence on the flat screen—Peyton Manning (obviously), Cardi B, Snoop Dogg, Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Jason Momoa, and many more, I’m sure. Y’all enjoy those commercials, while I run to the bathroom!
Super Bowl History
Everything You Never Cared to Know About the Super Bowl, but I'm Going to Tell You Anyway
There is 58 years worth of Super Bowl history, so let's just talk about this year's contestants, and the Denver Broncos, of course. Here are the Super Bowl records for those three teams:
San Francisco 49ers 5-2, Kansas City Chiefs 3-2, and the Denver Broncos 3-5. Kansas City played in the very first Super Bowl on January 15, 1967, losing to the Green Bay Packers 35-10. The Chiefs beat Minnesota three years later in Super Bowl IV, but they would have to wait 50 years to earn another spot in the NFL's title game. That was Super Bowl LIV (54), which we already know from earlier in this post, in which they beat the Jimmy Garoppolo-led 49ers 31-20. The Chiefs repeated as AFC champions the following year but lost to Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV (55), in what was the first Home Super Bowl ever, as it was played in Tampa, and the game also had the lowest attendance for a Super Bowl ever, at only 25,000, due to Covid-19 restrictions.
Not only do the San Francisco 49ers have an outstanding lineage at the quarterback position, but they have also had some great head coaches—from Bill Walsh and George Seifert to Jim Harbaugh and Kyle Shanahan. The 49ers have been to the Super Bowl seven times—XVI(16), XIX(19), XXIII(23), XXIV(24), XXIX(29), XLVII(47), and LIV(54). San Francisco won their first five Super Bowls, including a 55-10 beat-down of the Denver Broncos in SB XXIV, but they have lost their last two. That SB win against Denver not only made me cry, but it made the 49ers one of only seven teams who have repeated as Super Bowl champions. No team has ever won three SB in a row, although, both the Dallas Cowboys and the New England Patriots have won three SB in a span of four years. With a win on Sunday, the Kansas City Chiefs will earn a spot in the Super Bowl Repeat Club, joining the Green Bay Packers, the Miami Dolphins, the Pittsburgh Steelers (twice), and the Denver Broncos as the only teams to be repeat NFL champions.
And since I know you all are just as puzzled as me, I went ahead and did the research to find out why the Super Bowl is now played in February instead of January. In a matter of seconds, literally, I discovered something that I already knew, but had forgotten. Back in 1990, the NFL re-implemented the bye week, adding a 17th week of football to the 16-game regular season. I'll give you three guesses as to why the NFL made this move. Yep, you got it. That little thing that, sadly, makes this world go 'round. Manna, I mean, money. With an extra week of pro football, the NFL could televise more games—I'm pretty sure this was also when they added Thursday Night Football. This is what pushed the Super Bowl from late January into the first week of February, and then, a couple years ago, the NFL schedule was extended to 17 games, and they added a Wild Card team to the playoff format. And that is why, in 2024, the Super Bowl will be played three days before Valentine's Day. Ding, ding, ding! And there's my sign...
Whew! I was starting to put myself to sleep there, I can only imagine how you must feel. Sorry about that. That is why I try to include a table of contents at the top of these long posts, so you can just jump to the part you want to read. Anyways, the co-headliner for today’s post is, Valentine's Day! Yay, that special Day of Love, that day dedicated to your significant other, or that day you set out to find yourself a brand-new lover. Okay, ‘80s music fans, who sings it? Again, literally seconds later (because I forgot)… Thanks YouTube!
Well, I don’t need to find a brand-new lover because I already have one, and I desire no other. So, please allow me to say, right here for all to see, Dawn Dea Clark-Ulibarri-Kurtz, without you, there would be no me, at least not the happy me, that you make me be, on top of a tree, or out at sea, in the city, or while drinking tea, and now, I’m just being silly. I love you, Babe! Happy Valentine’s Day! And thanks for putting up with me as I write my life away, yet have nothing to show for it. Don't give up on me. It's coming. Some day. Just wait and see! I incorporated some lilies into your Valentine this year. Hope you like them—and guess what? You don't even have to water these ones, and they'll stay alive forever!
Created with Leonardo.ai
Well, that wraps up the Narrative Niche, Too Legit to Quit, Smooth as Usher, Super Bowl LVIII Blowout and Valentine's Day Surprise. I had so much more to talk about, but all good things must come to an end (not true, that's just a... ? C'mon Jas, that's a...?) I know, I know, it's a Grammar Gadget, but which one? If you know, please share your answer in the Comments! It's funny, as I put this post together, I got a little nostalgic, remembering when I used to write an article after every Bronco game, complete with pictures I clipped out of the Daily Sentinel. This was when I was like 8 or 9. I guess I was blogging way back then, before blogging was even a word! Enjoy the big game, and God Bless!